Fair warning: this is a football post. Kind of. No, I have not had a stroke or been possessed by the ghost of Walter Camp. Also,
for all my friends across the pond, when I say football, I am referring to the American game that
hardly ever involves using feet to advance the ball.
This post really is about football. Kind of.
I saw an article on the CNN website, reporting that Dan
Marino is suing the NFL over concussions. Many former NFL players have joined
together in a class action lawsuit, suing the league over the long-term health
impacts of concussions. They claim that the NFL had known for years that there
was a link between concussions and long term neurological issues and did
nothing to prevent further injury.
Because I have experience with both concussions and
neurological issues, of course I was curious. And, as it turns out, I now have
helmets and full contact sports in my life. So, yeah. I have a vested interest
in this topic.
We will save the discussion about tort reform for another
post. Let’s also table the issues of personal responsibility and common sense.
I think most people know that if you repeatedly ram your head into a wall,
there will be consequences. But anyway…
I have a bit of experience with concussions. A couple years
ago, Kidlet’s daycare called me while I was at work, telling me that he wasn’t
feeling well. When I asked what was wrong, they said he was complaining of
nausea.
Now, being nauseous is Kidlet’s go-to symptom when he wants
to “be sick.” Which sometimes nets him a day off of school or a night sleeping
in my bed. So, when daycare called, I didn’t rush right over. Kinda wish they
had mentioned he had collided heads with another kid on the playground.
When I arrived to pick him up, he was sitting by the toilet,
looking glum but otherwise fine. No cuts, no bruises, no goose eggs. But when
my sister arrived to pick up her own kids, I started to suspect that strange
things were afoot.
Kidlet kept asking me for soup. It didn’t strike me as a
particularly odd request. I often serve him soup when he is sick. If his tummy
was upset, soup seemed logical to me.
But then his cousin started teasing him and mimicking the
whiny “I want soup” voice. Kidlet can quickly become very annoyed with his
cousin. And—at that moment—his cousin was being pretty annoying.
But Kidlet did nothing. He didn’t get frustrated, or yell
back, or tattle. Those would be the behaviors I would have expected.
He just asked for soup again.
And that was the point I drove him to the hospital. We were
there the whole night while he was getting scanned and x-rayed and fed
slushies. The verdict? A “doozy” of a concussion, requiring a couple days of
being still and quiet.
You know what happened to the kid he ran into? That kid got
a black eye. And was perfectly fine, looking tough and ready for fight club.
The difference between a hospitalization and a bruise? The way
the kid’s noggin absorbed the energy of the hit.
A helmet is a great thing to have on when you hit something
with your head. It absorbs a great deal of the energy of the impact. It protects
your skull from being fractured. But, in reality, it isn’t your skull that
needs protecting. It is your brain.
A skull fracture isn’t fun by any stretch. And every once in
a while, a skull fracture can have a catastrophic outcome. But a skull fracture
isn’t the same thing as a concussion.
Here is how the ER doctor explained it to me: If you shake
an egg with enough force, you can scramble the egg without cracking the shell. When
you are wearing a helmet, your skull is the shell and your brain is what is
getting scrambled.
When you hit your head, your skull absorbs the force. When
you hit your head while wearing a helmet, the helmet absorbs some—if not
most—of the force. But because the rest of that hit’s energy is not exhausted
on the skull, the brain spends it by shifting and bouncing around the inside of
the head.
And that is a concussion.
Worse still, concussions are like compounded interest paid
by your gray matter. The ER doctor told me that they stack. He suggested that
Kidlet take it easy for a while and not involve himself in activities with
higher-than-normal risk of hitting his head. Because the second concussion is
always worse than the first. And the third is worse still. The brain doesn’t
really heal like a deep cut or a torn ligament.
Trust me. I am now an expert on brains.
As an added feature (not a bug!), non-head injuries can be caused
by helmets. Helmets can inflict a great deal of damage with little consequence
to the hitter. Career-ending knee injuries have been caused by an opponent’s
polycarbonate-protected head driving into a player’s leg.
We are really quite amazing. The human body is a
stunning example of design. We walk around with a natural helmet protecting our
delicate brain.
Seat belts are great. I don’t want to live without
pasteurization. I am a rabid and vocal supporter of vaccinations.
But—maybe—sometimes we need to admit that we just can’t improve on nature.
Most of us carry phones in our pocket with more computing
power than what was used for the Apollo Space mission. In the insane pace of
today’s technological advances, it is hard to remember that sometimes the
answer can be quite simple: Step back from the technology.
Modern day helmets are excellent at saving players from
fracturing their skulls. They protect ears, jaws, teeth, noses. But, not only
do they not protect the brain, they may be causing more harm than good.*
The NFL and the company that manufactures the helmets for
the league—Riddel—are developing prototype headgear that include crush zones,
impact alarms, and better skull protection. But… is that really the correct
solution?
Talk to the physicists and they will give you an answer. Don’t
make a better helmet. Go back to the old-fashioned leather helmets. Leather
helmets protect the head, ears, and scalp of a player, without interfering with
the job of the skull to protect the brain. They provide instant feedback and
remind players not to lead with their head. They help prevent ancillary injuries.
And, lets face it, they look pretty badaass.
There is precedent for this in the sports world. Rugby. Martial arts.
Murderball. The entire continent of Australia.
Aside—OMG, have you not seen Murderball? Rent it immediately.
OK, nerds. Want to listen to something really cool? Go
download Neil DeGrasse Tyson’s StarTalk podcast titled The Physics of Football. I think you will find it very interesting.
Bonus fun fact: From
the beginning. helmets were painted with team colors, logos, and player
positions. In 1948, a player named Fred Gehrke—halfback for the Los Angeles
Rams—painted a horn design on all of the Rams' helmets. Gehrke studied art at
the University of Utah.
Derby girls decorate their helmets too. But we prefer to
dress them in panties.
*Of course you need to wear a helmet while riding motorcycles,
bobsleds, or bicycles. When you can be hit by something that can move faster
than a human, protect your coconut.
