Monday, September 30, 2013

My Inner Bitch

It’s in the air. The Breaking Bad finale has occurred. For those who are not viewers, you should be. For you people that are:

I’m going to miss it, Bitch.

Breaking Bad did get me thinking about the word bitch. It can mean many different things, depending on where it is said and who is saying it. As I see it, there are three different ways that word can be used in a way that is not referring to a female dog: the bad, the benign, and the awesome.

The Bad Way
The first recorded usage of bitch as a vulgar word was in the 14th century and used to describe an overly sexual woman.  It’s evolved into a word sometimes used by insecure men because they can find no other descriptor for a headstrong woman. It’s also used to insult a man. Call him bitch and you are calling him a woman. As if that was the worst thing someone could be.

I think one of the most offensive ways to use bitch is to call a woman one because she upset you. I am not so offended by the actual word—sticks, stones, and all that jazz—but by the complete lack of vocabulary that hinders the user from finding any better words. Read a book every once in a while, for Pete’s sake.

If you cannot find another word for a belligerent, overbearing, stubborn, mean woman, you just aren’t trying hard enough. There. I just got you started with four alternate words.

Aside—I do, however, like this usage:

The Benign Way
This is the way Jesse Pinkman uses bitch. He says it with a comma before or after it. It might be mildly offensive, but it is also pretty funny and shouldn’t be taken too seriously.

The Awesome Way
I sometimes use bitch to declare how epically awesome someone is. I admire a bitch. In the always amazing words of Tina Fey, bitches get stuff done.

I'm taking bitch back. A bitch is a woman who doesn't care what the world expects her to do. She is strong. Being a bitch doesn't mean you aren't afraid. It means you do what needs to be done even if you are scared. A bitch is someone you always want on your side but you never want to go up against.

I love a bitch.

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