Going in Circles

I'm having a bad week. Not really a week, but at least I'm having a bad last couple days.

Skating on Saturday was difficult on several levels. I missed the team practice due to the birthday party of my favorite 6-year-old. I went to the Derby Depot after the cupcakes, but there were only a couple of us rookies there. And I was exhausted, quickly running out of gas.

I'm frustrated. I feel like I am not improving. At least not fast enough to be satisfied with myself. I think my biggest roadblock is my endurance. I get so tired that I cannot practice a drill until I successfully master it. I feel a bit... defeated.

It seems like there are forces at work that stand in the way of my success. Here is a prime example: I had my afternoon and evening planned yesterday. It began with loading some boxes in the car, installing a new light in my hall, going to work out at the gym, then heading to the Depot to help out with our fundraiser.

None of that happened. As I was loading my car, I somehow hit my head with the door. More specifically, I hit my glasses, which did not break (though it would have been better if they had). The glasses hit my nose and left eye. The pain was intense. Tears instantly spring to my eyes and I dropped to my knees. So now not only does my face look like I went 5 rounds in a title fight, my knee is good and skinned.

Aside--That settles it. I'm getting sports glasses before I ever scrimmage with the team. Luckily, I have some time to save up.

Another aside--Who wears the shiner better? Me or Luke up there? Feel free to let me know.

So, instead of going to work out, I sat on my couch with a bag of frozen peas over half my face and shoving a giant burrito into the other half of it. I topped it of with 3 mini ice cream cones. That is all kind of the opposite of going to the gym.

I'm frustrated. I'm sore. I'm mad at myself for my failing willpower. I am a little worried because I can't quite understand how I hit my face with the car door. And my back is that weird, kind-of-awful-but-not-quite-painful burning sensation.

But, I've got to pick myself up. I need to reset and move forward. Today is a new day. Today I will brave a snowstorm to go to the gym. I will wear my skates around the house, just to feel their wheels under me. I will have a healthy-ish dinner. And I will eat one of the holiday cookies a co-worker has brought in. And I will savor and enjoy it. And I might go back for seconds. Because it is the holidays and Carpe Diem! (Which is old-school YOLO for people who have read more than three books.)

I understand why we need holidays like Thanksgiving. I won't speak for all of us, but I know that sometimes I forget to be thankful. There are many things I am thankful for. My inside-the-house family. My outside-the-house family. My relatively good health. My doctors that are keeping it that way. My shared-parents sisters. My nose-piercing sister. My derby sisters. My son, who tells me that he loves to hear me laugh. And my son for making me laugh.

After all of it, I realize that I am incredibly lucky. And I am beginning to suspect that things may actually happen for a reason. I guess time will tell... For now, I will embrace the random and scale the roadblocks.

Glasses Half Full

I'm in a funk. I've been struggling to find the happy. So today, I'm going to give myself a day of sad. A day-long pity party. Then I'm going to reset tomorrow, shake off the funk, and find my happy.

I realized this morning that I haven't skated in a week, and I haven't posted anything Derby related in longer than that. Life got in the way, and today I will remedy both problems by going skating with Sara and writing this post.

Let's talk about glasses.  The ones for your face, not the ones for your bourbon.

Since the sixth grade, I have been wearing glasses.

We can talk about the kick-ass mullet in a later post...

My eyes got a little worse each year. They got so bad that I literally could not function without glasses. If I was out and broke my glasses, I would have not been able to get myself home. Then, about 8 years ago, I had PRK vision correction surgery. That laser reshaped the back of my eye to be capable of 20/20 vision. But, the doctor warned me, the surgery only reset my vision. My eyes would continue to age and my vision would continue to degrade.

And that is exactly what has been happening. Aging eyes with a dash of MS. My Optic Neuritis--the symptom that initiated the MS diagnosis--has left me with a permanent cloud in my right eye. It's a bit like looking through a smear of Vaseline. I am constantly taking off my glasses to clean them, only to remember that it was actually my eye that needed cleaning.

I now need glasses to see the actors on a stage or the address on a street sign. I cannot drive at night without them. And I can't see clearly across the derby track.

And that presents a problem. Several Derby Girls wear glasses while they play. But it can be dangerous. Very recently, a fellow DG posted about her experience playing with glasses. She took a legal hit that knocked her down and broke her glasses. The broken frame of her glasses became razor sharp and sliced her forehead, barely missing her eye.

So these are my vision alternatives when skating. I can chance it wearing my glasses, hoping they don't break or don't injure me. I don't want to spend money on new glasses or plastic surgeons (for fixing glasses-caused scars. I will happily use plastic surgeons for other maintenance issues).

I can get contact lenses. They irritate my eyes, and they are expensive and easy to lose or break. They also can hurt if they slip off into the corner of your eye or you get some dirt in there. I know this from experience, that would be the last thing you would want to happen in the middle of a jam.

There is the no-glasses option, but that leaves me with a bit of a blind spot to my right. That will not help me bring my A game.

I'm not anywhere near being a good enough skater to scrimmage yet. But when I am good enough, I'm going to get myself a pair of sports glasses with a high impact rating.

Sexy, no? Actually, I don't think they are too bad. Just nerdy enough for Velma. Safe enough for solving mysteries.

Speaking of Velma... There is a common pop culture trope that involves putting glasses on the hero somehow serves a disguise. Sometimes a superhero hides behind those specks. Sometimes a nerdy, bookish girl becomes beautiful when the boy she has a crush on removes her glasses.

I never liked either of those literary themes. Here's something that most of us eventually learn through life experience. Don't hide your hero. And nerds are sexy.

Glasses are hot.  Trust me.