Monday, November 11, 2013

Glasses Half Full

I'm in a funk. I've been struggling to find the happy. So today, I'm going to give myself a day of sad. A day-long pity party. Then I'm going to reset tomorrow, shake off the funk, and find my happy.

I realized this morning that I haven't skated in a week, and I haven't posted anything Derby related in longer than that. Life got in the way, and today I will remedy both problems by going skating with Sara and writing this post.

Let's talk about glasses.  The ones for your face, not the ones for your bourbon.

Since the sixth grade, I have been wearing glasses.

We can talk about the kick-ass mullet in a later post...

My eyes got a little worse each year. They got so bad that I literally could not function without glasses. If I was out and broke my glasses, I would have not been able to get myself home. Then, about 8 years ago, I had PRK vision correction surgery. That laser reshaped the back of my eye to be capable of 20/20 vision. But, the doctor warned me, the surgery only reset my vision. My eyes would continue to age and my vision would continue to degrade.

And that is exactly what has been happening. Aging eyes with a dash of MS. My Optic Neuritis--the symptom that initiated the MS diagnosis--has left me with a permanent cloud in my right eye. It's a bit like looking through a smear of Vaseline. I am constantly taking off my glasses to clean them, only to remember that it was actually my eye that needed cleaning.

I now need glasses to see the actors on a stage or the address on a street sign. I cannot drive at night without them. And I can't see clearly across the derby track.

And that presents a problem. Several Derby Girls wear glasses while they play. But it can be dangerous. Very recently, a fellow DG posted about her experience playing with glasses. She took a legal hit that knocked her down and broke her glasses. The broken frame of her glasses became razor sharp and sliced her forehead, barely missing her eye.

So these are my vision alternatives when skating. I can chance it wearing my glasses, hoping they don't break or don't injure me. I don't want to spend money on new glasses or plastic surgeons (for fixing glasses-caused scars. I will happily use plastic surgeons for other maintenance issues).

I can get contact lenses. They irritate my eyes, and they are expensive and easy to lose or break. They also can hurt if they slip off into the corner of your eye or you get some dirt in there. I know this from experience, that would be the last thing you would want to happen in the middle of a jam.

There is the no-glasses option, but that leaves me with a bit of a blind spot to my right. That will not help me bring my A game.

I'm not anywhere near being a good enough skater to scrimmage yet. But when I am good enough, I'm going to get myself a pair of sports glasses with a high impact rating.

Sexy, no? Actually, I don't think they are too bad. Just nerdy enough for Velma. Safe enough for solving mysteries.

Speaking of Velma... There is a common pop culture trope that involves putting glasses on the hero somehow serves a disguise. Sometimes a superhero hides behind those specks. Sometimes a nerdy, bookish girl becomes beautiful when the boy she has a crush on removes her glasses.

I never liked either of those literary themes. Here's something that most of us eventually learn through life experience. Don't hide your hero. And nerds are sexy.

Glasses are hot.  Trust me.

1 comment:

  1. I'm like you but without the PRK. Glasses absolutely required. I don't play contact sports, but I did invest in a pair of sports glasses a couple of years ago (and yikes, the price!) and they've absolutely been worth it.