It could not have come at a better time.
Last night, I was at the Derby Depot for a bout between the Molly Morbids and my Derby Girls, the Bonneville Bone Crushers. This was the first bout I have seen since I started as Fresh Meat. I loved the few other bouts I had seen, the ones that relit the secret Derby Girl longing I harbored. But this bout blew me away.
I saw things in it that I never saw until I started skating. I saw not only the skill and athleticism. I saw the strategy, the grace, the energy and endurance.
In the past couple days, I have been battling my body a little bit. It has made me feel slightly pessimistic about whether I could ever really be a Derby Girl. Being at the bout last night refueled my determination and desire. I so want to be out there on the track like those amazing women, skating my heart out. I am going to make it happen. I've not only renewed my desire, I remembered why I wanted this in the first place.
I needed that.
I got my team shirt. This will be the shirt that will someday display my yet-to-be-determined Derby name and number. It made me excited to imagine myself someday putting on that shirt to skate out and face the opposing team.
I felt included, part of the gang, and right where I belonged. And my girls won.